If you told me a decade that I would EVER become a yoga studio member, I woulda thought you were high...
The few times I did yoga before, my reaction was:
WHY IS THIS SO SLOW??
WHY IS THIS SO BORING??
There's no freakin' way I can do that.
What if I fall?
What if I fart?
What if everyone looks at me funny?
OMG...why am I here again?
*insert more grumbling*
Don't quote me on this, but it's my observation that Enneagram 4s are typically very disconnected from their physical bodies (and overly connected to their heart first and then their head). The body is an afterthought, except as a target of self-criticism, judgment, and shame.
I have no freakin clue what possessed me to not just sign up for a 3-week trial at the yoga studio, but also to sign up for a membership (and actually stick with it even to this day!!).
Whatever the reason, here are all the things I've learned from being more connected with my body center of intelligence.
See which ones stand out to you, especially if:
You live disconnected from or unaware of your body
You tend to live as if the world is on your shoulders
You believe that you are what you DO
You’re a control-junkie
You manage how you’re seen by others
You have a hard time being still or resting
The only thing I bring into the studio with me is my mat and my body.
I leave everything outside the door -- my phone, my schedule, my email, my responsibilities, my worries.
These things continue to exist, but during the next 1-1.5 hours, it's as if they are irrelevant.
The world continues to spin even when I'm not doing anything.
Life continues, even when I don't do anything else.
The world does not fall apart just because I stopped working.
No one is dying because I am not thinking about them or not doing anything for them.
Other people continue to live & exist as if I am not the center of the universe. (Ha!!)
When I'm lying on the floor, I am literally doing NOTHING. The FLOOR is doing all the work in lifting me up.
I don't have to be the only one giving, working, serving, etc. to others; I CAN be a passive recipient of someone (something) else doing good work.
I too deserve to receive good things; I don't need to EARN goodness.
I am not more worthy when I'm useful, and I am not less worthy when I'm not.
I can just rest -- nothing bad is going to happen in this exact moment.
‘Come with the body you have...’
What I have in this moment is enough. Some days I come with more energy, some days with less. Neither is inherently better or worse -- it is what it is. I show up however I am...and that's enough.
There is no basis of comparison with others bc we all have our own bodies (& individualities). All are welcome as we are, however we are.
My body can do so many more things than I ever gave it credit for.
I've learned to suspend judgment on my own body and let it demonstrate what it actually can or can't do as a neutral piece of info. It is what it is!
If I'm surprised by just how much my body is actually capable of doing, maybe it can also do other surprising things!
Let me see what actually happens, rather than assuming a certain outcome and not bothering to even try.
I don't need to be in control or in the lead. I don't have to always know what's coming next or where it's going.
I have no clue where the yoga instructor is going to take us. Sometimes even they don't know! And that's totally okay.
All I need to do is to follow their lead and to focus on just the immediate next step.
I can turn off my brain and heart, and just BE in my body.
Sometimes, it's easier to do new/riskier things when I CAN’T see.
My own ability to see/perceive things is overrated. Sometimes it actually gets in the way.
I don't just have a heart (or head), but also a body that has its own wisdom as another center of intelligence. I CAN learn to listen to my gut.
Sometimes it's literally easier to hold my balance when my glasses are off or my eyes are closed and I let my body lead with intuition/instinct.
Sometimes, no one is paying attention to me...and that's FREEING.
I don't have to be self-conscious, worried that other people are looking at and judging me.
Sometimes (a lot of times), they're in their own world, focusing on all kinds of things other than me.
I don't have to be or look a certain way. I can just mind my own body and business and carry on, and others can do the same.
If someone looks towards me and judges me during freakin YOGA, that's THEIR issue (plus, they're probably going to literally fall over).
Other people's thoughts and opinions of me are none of my business.
Anything stand out to you?
Maybe that reaction is your body's signal that this is an important part of your own personal work.
How can you incorporate body work into your path of growing BEYOND your Enneagram type?
What are your Enneagram type's emotional habits?
Grab this free guide that shows you how to grow beyond the patterns that keep you stuck!
Don't know your Enneagram type?
Find yours here!
© Copyright 2023 Joanne B. Kim. All rights reserved.
JOANNE B. KIM, LMFT
Joanne is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and Certified Brainspotting Practitioner in San Jose, CA. She helps people EXHAUSTED by anxiety, shame, and an allergic reaction to anger create VIBRANT relationships where they matter, too.
Many of her clients are:
(1) the highly responsible, conscientious, and empathic types
(2) Enneagram Type Ones, Twos, Fours, or Nines
(3) Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs)
The most common words spoken by those who’ve sat with Joanne:
“I thought it was just me. I’m NOT crazy!”
“I can finally figure out what to do with all these feelings!”
The three Enneagram instincts (Self-Preservation, Social, and Sexual) instincts show up in the way we engage our lives and creative endeavors. Check out this conversation with Rim from The Empowered Sensitive and Creative Podcast!