Let Your Body Show You The Way
When I was deeply entrenched in my Enneagram 4 patterns, I was very skeptical (maybe even judgmental) about all things yoga.
The first few times I tried yoga, my reaction was:
WHY IS THIS SO SLOW??
WHY IS THIS SO BORING??
There's no freakin' way I can do that.
What if I fall?
What if I fart?
What if everyone looks at me funny?
OMG...why am I here again?
*insert more grumbling*
No surprise — Enneagram 4s are typically very disconnected from their physical bodies.
Our HEART is the locomotive that drives the train forward, the HEAD are the compartments that follow where it leads, and the BODY is the caboose that is but an afterthought, except as a target of self-criticism, judgment, and shame.
Now that I’ve been a regular member at by local yoga studio for years, the above reactions seem barely familiar…I know for a fact that I did have those reactions, but they don’t resonate anymore.
I have no freakin clue what possessed me to spontaneously sign up for a 3-week, unlimited yoga trial that then became a regular membership.
But I’m grateful said possessing entity because, really, yoga has been a gamechanger not just for my literal physical health, but also surprisingly for both my inner work and my work in serving others.
Here are some things I've learned from being more connected to my Body Center of Intelligence.
See which ones stand out, especially if:
You live disconnected from or unaware of your body
You tend to live as if the world is on your shoulders
You believe that you are what you DO
You’re a control-junkie
You manage how you’re seen by others
You have a hard time resting or being still
You have a LOT of pent up feelings (and nowhere to put them)
(At the end, I’ll share how yoga can be beneficial for each Enneagram type.)
(1) The only thing I bring into the studio is my mat & my own body. Everything else I leave at the door.
My phone, my schedule, my email, my responsibilities, my worries — these things continue to exist, but during the next 1-1.5 hours they’re not the main point.
They’re IMPORTANT, but not CENTRAL — put in their proper place as I (re)occupy my own.
Especially in moments when I feel like I’m buried under a flurry of things out of my control, literally putting (and keeping) things outside the door and protecting that time frame puts me back in the driver seat of my own experience — a way of reclaiming my rightful power and self-leadership.
(2) The world continues to spin even when I'm not doing anything productive or helping anyone.
Life continues on, even when I don't do anything and am laying on the floor like a limp noodle. Not only are the things I put outside IMPORTANT but not CENTRAL — so am I.
The world does not fall apart just because I stopped working.
No one is dying because I am not thinking about them or not doing anything for them.
Other people continue to live & exist as if I am not the center of the universe. (Ha!!)
This is a huge antidote for my habit of putting the weight of the world on my shoulders while relentlessly judging or SHOULDing myself — a common tendency for certain Enneagram types & subtypes including 1SO, 2SO, 3, 4SP, 6, 7SO, 8SO, 9SO.
(3) When I'm lying on the floor, I am not holding myself up so I don’t sink into the earth. The FLOOR is doing all the work in lifting me up.
I’m not only a person who gives, contributes, or provides to others.
I can also be a passive recipient of someone(thing) else doing the work.
Responsible, conscientious folks put way too much attention on pouring OUT — not taking IN. Filling others’ tanks, while ours remain depleted.
The result? Burnout, and the subsequent agitation, resentment, and other forms of malaise.
When I focus on how the ground is lifting me up, I am reminded that I too receive good things, and that I don't need to EARN goodness. It’s not like only those who are worthy stay above ground — everything and everyone “deserves” to be lifted up.
I am not more worthy when I'm useful, and I am not less worthy when I'm not.
I can just rest, muscles relaxed & palms open, my body held up facing towards the endless sky, in a posture of surrender, openness, & receptivity.
(4) ‘Come with the body you have...’
What I have in this moment is enough. Some days I come with more energy, some days with less. Neither is inherently better or worse — it is what it is.
I show up however I am...and that's enough.
There is no basis of comparison with others because we all have our own bodies (& individualities).
All are welcome as we are, however we are, for whatever we need in this moment.
(5) My body can do so many more things than I ever gave it credit for.
I've learned to suspend judgment on my own body and let it demonstrate what it actually can or can't do — as a neutral piece of info (It is what it is!).
Before I even knew it, my body became so much more flexible, resilient, and strong.
As my body changes, I need to readjust my own impression of my body, instead of living with outdated messages that don’t serve me anymore.
If I'm surprised by just how much my body is actually capable of doing, maybe it can also do other surprising things — not just physically, but emotionally, intellectually, relationally, etc.
Let me see what actually happens in each moment day by day, rather than assuming a certain outcome and judging myself or not bothering to even try (aka resignation). Let me be open to how things are, as they are.
(6) I don't need to always be in control or in the lead. I don't have to always know what's coming next or where things are going. Let’s go with the flow.
Even though I tend to attend the same kinds of classes each week, I have no clue where the yoga instructor is going to take us each time. Sometimes even they don't know! And that's totally okay — sometimes there are pleasant surprises that come up as we go.
All I need to do is to follow their lead and to focus on just the immediate next step.
I can quiet my heart & mind, and just BE in my body, flowing along whatever’s available in the moment,
(7) Sometimes, it's easier to do new/riskier things when I CAN’T see.
Sometimes it's literally easier to hold my balance when my glasses are off and my eyes are closed and I let my body lead with intuition/instinct. For some classes, I have an eye mask on the entire time, closing down my most relied upon sense out of the fives senses.
The benefit of releasing that control is that I have access to experiences that are beyond my own self-perceived ability. I learned that my own ability to see/perceive things is overrated. Sometimes it actually gets in the way, by overly highlighting my self-imposed limitations and magnifying my self-limiting fears.
(8) Sometimes, no one is paying attention to me...and that's FREEING.
I don't have to be self-conscious, worried that other people are looking at and judging me.
Sometimes (most times), other people are in their own world, focusing on all kinds of things other than me.
I don't have to be or look a certain way. I can just mind my own body and business and carry on, and others can do the same.
If someone looks towards me and judges me during freakin YOGA, that's THEIR issue (plus, they're probably going to literally fall over because they’re not paying attention to their own body & inner world).
The lesson?
Other people's thoughts and opinions of me are none of my business.
Anything stand out to you?
Maybe that reaction is your body's signal that this is an important part of your own personal work.
How can you incorporate body work into your path of growing BEYOND your Enneagram type?
My body is my body, and your body is yours. Do what works for your body.
Enneagram 1
Type Ones have a drive to IMPROVE - improve self, improve others, or improve something. There’s an impatience to attain the ideal standard, not knowing that ideal target keeps moving to keep them stuck in that state of frustration.
Ones tend to live life very TENSE, much like a car that’s always got the emergency brakes on; there’s a lot of energy expenditure and heat generated, but not a lot of forward movement and definitely not a lot of ease.
In yoga, Ones can ALLOW themselves to connect with themselves, however they are. The focus isn’t about doing these postures perfectly (what is perfect anyway?) or to improve how you engage in these movements. ALLOW yourself to be yourself, however you are, in your thoughts, emotions, and your body.
Release tension in your body. Loosen your muscles. Don’t exert energy. Allow the ground to hold you up.
Key word? PERMISSION.
Enneagram 2
Type Twos have a drive to BEFRIEND, to appear desirable, likable, or lovable. How others see you is of the utmost importance: if they see you towards the positive, great! But if others see you towards the negative, NOOOOO.
Twos shapeshift and contort themselves so that they will be more liked and loved, but they lose connection with themselves. Often, Twos don’t know what they’re feeling, what they’re needing, or who they are.
In yoga, Twos can shift their focus away from others (others aren’t looking at you anyway) and back to themselves within. Reconnect with your body sensations - what’s true of you, independently of others? Your inner world is your sanctuary - become more familiar with your inner landscape, and find rest. There’s no need for you to be a certain way for someone else, but rather a need for you to come back to yourself.
*I hear that child’s pose is the mudra (body posture) for Type 2s in connecting with Humility (the virtue of Type Two).
Key word? FREEDOM.
Enneagram 3
Not about success or productivity, but about being connected with what’s happening now.
Enneagram 4
Not about being identified with/consumed by feelings, but connecting with aspects of yourself outside of your heart - your head and your body.
You as an individual disappear, and you become one of many. There’s no basis of comparison or competition, and there is no need to stand out, be different, or be noticed as an individual.
Enneagram 5
You take action
Enneagram 6
Enneagram 7
Type Sevens live with a pursuit of freedom, pleasure, and novelty. They tend to focus on the positive things in life, to the point of neglecting the other side of reality: the negative or painful aspects of life.
As an Idealist Type, Sevens tend to search for what’s new and exciting, not being connected with what’s present and actual. Commitment is difficult for Sevens, as they often feel trapped in something they might not desire anymore.
In yoga, Sevens can practice seeking what’s good about being present with what IS (rather than thinking about what things COULD BE). Notice the restlessness and boredom, which your personality often avoids. Be curious as to what might be on the other side of it.
Notice what’s good in doing this practice with consistency that you might have missed out on by constantly pursuing the novel and exciting. There is goodness in being limited and contained - you can allow yourself to be carried by and provided for by life, rather than by making all these plans in your head. Redirect your attention away from your head and back towards your body and your heart.
Enneagram 8
Enneagram 9
What are your Enneagram type's emotional habits?
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© Copyright 2023 Joanne B. Kim. All rights reserved.
JOANNE B. KIM, LMFT
Joanne is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and Certified Brainspotting Practitioner in San Jose, CA. She helps people EXHAUSTED by anxiety, shame, and an allergic reaction to anger create VIBRANT relationships where they matter, too.
Many of her clients are:
(1) the highly responsible, conscientious, and empathic types
(2) Enneagram Type Ones, Twos, Fours, or Nines
(3) Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs)
The most common words spoken by those who’ve sat with Joanne:
“I thought it was just me. I’m NOT crazy!”
“I can finally figure out what to do with all these feelings!”
See how the Enneagram and genogram reveal trauma, boundaries, and generational patterns in families like the Bridgertons — and maybe yours too!