Most people don’t see just HOW MUCH (or WHOSE STUFF) you carry.

Your day-to-day life can feel like a constant juggling act of other people’s plates while you’re starving.

• You put other people’s feelings & needs first, while feeding off scraps (if you remember to eat at all).

• You are bombarded with guilt when even thinking about doing something nice for yourself. Resting is lazy, getting massages is wasteful, and taking time away is selfish…even though you may heartily encourage others to do so.

• You obsess over how you’re perceived in how you choose your career, where you live, how you pick your partner, how many kids you have, how you look, and even what you eat…lest you be judged by inner (& outer) critics that come with real life consequences.

• You struggle with headaches, jaw pain, fatigue, and back/stomach aches from enduring all kinds of crap, keeping your head down, mouth shut, & nose to the grind.

• You may be super high-achieving and successful, but intensely anxious, severely burned out, and rarely satisfied.

All the code switching, hypervigilant scanning, constant representing or protecting other people’s status, navigating unspoken rules, and taking others’ bullshit wore you down until you feel like a hollow shell of a person.

Your sense of self feels fragmented: confident, capable, and “strong” on the outside, but unsure, depleted, lost, or hurting on the inside.

How long can you wear the hats of being The Easy Kid, the Golden Child, the High Achiever, the Super Responsible & Reliable One, and/or the Constant Disappointment in your family?

How long can you carry other people’s pains, responsibilities, expectations, and judgments?

What the hell is all of this for, and for whom? Where are YOU in all of this?

Many adult children of immigrants — and more broadly, many persons of color (POC) — aren’t STUCK because they aren’t trying hard enough or they’re “lazy”. They’re stuck because they need to work TWICE as hard to get (maybe) HALF as far, carrying the burdens for far more than just themselves with far less resources than they need.

We grow up learning to read the room, manage risk (including other people’s emotional fragility), and adapt for safety…being the grownup in the room from the time we were kids.

You may be forging your own path while still supporting your family & communities financially, practically, or emotionally. All the more so if you’re also part of the Sandwich Generation, caring for both your parents and your own children. (As if you hadn’t already emotionally parented other adults your whole life…)

Growing up in an immigrant family comes with its own overwhelming challenges to begin with:

• having less generational or community resources so that you HAVE to be financially (over)responsible

• needing to start from ground level

• needing to constantly figure things out as you go (after you found out that you broke rules you didn’t know even existed)

• shifting family roles are already strained as they are

All the more painful for many POC in this overtly & covertly racist and oppressive system. All of the microaggressions, macroaggressions, chronic Othering, and racialized expectations you encounter on the daily pollute the air you breathe as you trek up the hill with all your endless responsibilities.

Asking for help or resting comes with costs or risks…so you carry on, SILENT & SOLO.

You may carry internalized messages about productivity, obedience, or sacrifice, alongside internalized racism, sexism, homophobia, or other -isms. Even rightful anger may have been labeled as “BAD,” “disrespectful,” or just plain dangerous, so you take on other people’s shit but have no outlet for yourself.

And if you’ve tried therapy before, you may have been told to further erase essential aspects of yourself for White- or Eurocentric values, encouraged to:

• pursue emotional cutoff from your family or community because they’re “enmeshed” or “toxic”

• become even more hyper-individualistic, because you gotta look out for Yourself #1 or other people just weigh you down

• “just” do some more mindful breathing or “treat yoself” to a spa day

• whitewash away the richness of your cultural heritage in the name of “health” or “belonging” that could still be stripped away at any moment if you challenge the system

You’re not broken. You’re overwhelmed & undernourished, burdened even by systems that are supposed to support you.

Let’s build you a life that honors your culture, boundaries, and lived reality!

I’ve been there. I see you. I’m with you.

I’m Joanne Kim, a therapist who works with those who are navigating layered identities in environments that aren’t always safe or kind.

I’m a firstborn daughter of a Korean immigrant family (1.5 gen-ish), with lived experiences of intergenerational trauma, internalized shame, and identity confusion.

Add to the mix that I’m a queer kid who grew up in (& served & left) the Christian church and had abandoned the path towards Mechanical Engineering (*gasp!) to become a professional Feelings Specialist (of all things). My life has been very…spicy to say the least. 🌶️

There are still remnants of lotsa internalized (Western & Eastern) cultural values that I’m discovering & sorting through, but my clients often tell me how relieving it is to meet with someone who doesn’t have all my shit together either but is also still in process.

My job isn’t to tell you what to do, but to create a space for YOU to decide what you wanna keep, what to toss, and what to expand so that your life story is proudly your own!

We’ll explore how to:

• Address areas that are most critical or time-sensitive in your relationships, work stress, physical health, etc.

• Feel & work with your feelings, even the ones that seem overwhelming or scary

• Identify & nurture safe, nourishing connections while figuring out what to do with those that aren’t

• Set (& keep) appropriate levels of boundaries in your relationships

• Define YOUR vision of a wholesome future that honors your heritage & acknowledges your present

You deserve support that honors your story and helps you move forward concretely in community.

Therapy that meets you where you are, not where you “SHOULD” be (whatever that is)

Not every person of color comes from an immigrant family…and not every immigrant family experience looks the same.

What you need isn’t what I (or anyone else) thinks you need, but what helps YOUR specific body relax…truly. I’m here to help you create YOUR own way of reconciling both connection to others and to yourself, your own unique mix of values and cultures.

The field of therapy itself historically emerged out of oppressive systems. Many therapy models weren’t built with immigrant or POC families or racialized survival in mind.

Advice like “just do mindful breathing”, “just set boundaries”, or “just cut them off” not only ignores cultural realities and real safety risks, but also perpetuates the very reasons why POC & immigrant bodies are JUST. SO. FUCKING. TIRED.

Healing doesn’t require rejecting or writing over your cultural heritage, minimizing all the -isms, or pretending that family dynamics exist in a vacuum. It is essential for ALL of your identities — the marginalized & privileged, the celebrated & disenfranchised — to be acknowledged for the possibility of deep healing.

Therapy is also structurally a one-sided relationship (focused on your life & needs, not mine). Because we’re focusing on YOUR pains & vulnerabilities and not mine, the power dynamics are already skewed in ways that energetically make me an authority figure.

(Don’t ask how many times clients apologize for rescheduling or canceling sessions or for not doing homework I didn’t actually assign.)

I own the kind of relationship this is and therefore I treat it with the utmost tenderness & respect. My priority is on making YOU the primary authority figure of your own life, not perpetuate familiar (painful) experiences by telling you what to do (or judging you for not doing whatever you supposedly should do).

A good part of this work will be around your own relationship with POWER — your own power and those of others (perceived & actual). This will likely stir up very uncomfortable feelings, because institutionally oppressive society itself has labeled your power as a threat. That’s society’s bullshit, not yours. I’m here to reverse that power trend.

There’s no one-size-fits-all or cookie cutter healing journey. My work with you is a creatively collaborative process where I follow YOUR lead, not the other way around.

Whether you’re a person of color or an adult child of immigrants navigating family, work, and identity, this space is for you.

Let’s create a life that fully reflects what (& who) really matters to you!