OliveMe Counseling

View Original

The Emotional Habits of Enneagram Types

The Enneagram is a personality framework about our reactive patterns of thinking, feeling, and doing. There are nine universal human motivators and ways of seeing, experiencing, and responding to life.

Our Enneagram type describes how we SURVIVED painful situations when we were younger (and more vulnerable and powerless), but where we get STUCK as adults. The very cage that protected us before becomes the very cage that keeps us trapped when we outgrow it.

Each Enneagram type has a different dynamic with each of the BIG 5 Emotions (MAD, SAD, GLAD, SCARED, and NUMB). Some overdo some emotions (“Top 2 emotions”) while underdoing others (“Bottom 2 emotions”).

Here’s how to interpret the arrows:

  • Red up arrows - strongly dominant
    (what emotion that Enneagram type OVERLY does and needs to practice doing LESS).

  • Blue down arrows - strongly repressed
    (what that type UNDERLY does and needs to practice doing MORE)

  • Black arrows - slight tendency towards relying on that emotion (up) or against that emotion (down)

The text beneath the arrows give some extra info on WHY that Enneagram type has that tendency with a given emotion or WHAT that type might say about that feeling.

*A Note on Subtypes

Though there are 9 Enneagram types, there are 3 subversions per type based on the human instincts of Self-Preservation (SP), Social (SO), and Sexual (SX). Some subtypes have particular emotional habits that what those Types are known for - this is especially the case for Types 4s and 6s.

Hence, if you’d like to use the Enneagram to grow emotionally, it might be helpful to know yourself on an instinct level as well.

These three instincts (rooted in our reflexive lizard brain) are like the barrel of the cannon that directs where the firepower of the Types goes:

  • Self-Preservation (SP): towards our physical well-being and practical matters (food, shelter, comfort), focused on themes of safety, security, trust, and preparation

  • Social (SO): towards the needs and experiences of the groups we belong to/feel excluded from, focused on themes of power, influence, strategy, and belonging

  • Sexual (SX): towards our intimate relationships with attachment figures (parents, partners, kids, and other “chosen” people), focused on themes of intensity, competition, expression, and exclusivity

The subtypes are important because of what’s called the countertype (the version of the Type that doesn’t look like the Type). Countertypes tend to do the OPPOSITE of what that Type is known for. For example, as a Self-Preservation 4, I am a 4 that doesn’t look like a 4; rather than being emotionally expressive, I am very emotionally reserved.

If you have a hard time finding your type, it might be because you are a countertype. Check out this blog to learn more about finding your type.

Need help with your emotional habits?

If you’d like to learn more about how to work WITH your emotions so that you can work OUT of your reactive patterns, check out this 1-hour masterclass on emotions!

See this gallery in the original post

© Copyright 2022 Joanne B. Kim. All rights reserved.

JOANNE B. KIM, LMFT

Joanne is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and Certified Brainspotting Practitioner in San Jose, CA. She helps people EXHAUSTED by anxiety, shame, and an allergic reaction to anger create VIBRANT relationships where they matter, too.

Many of her clients are:
(1) the highly responsible, conscientious, and empathic types
(2)
Enneagram Type Ones, Twos, Fours, or Nines
(3)
Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs)

The most common words spoken by those who’ve sat with Joanne:

“I thought it was just me. I’m NOT crazy!”

“I can finally figure out what to do with all these feelings!”

Does this resonate?